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英语幽默小短文 幽默英语短文

来源:慢速英语   时间:2020-05-18 17:03:53

  英语幽默小短文幽默英语短文,慢速英语网小编(www.voanews.cn)为大家汇聚了一些英语的文章,今天给大家带来的是英语幽默小短文幽默英语短文的内容,希望大家喜欢。


  英语幽默小短文


  1、Weather Predict


  A film crew was on location deep in the desert.One day an old Indian went up to the director and said,"Tomorrow rain."The next day it rained.


  A week later,the Indian went up to the director and said,"Tomorrow storm."The next day there was a hailstorm.


  "This Indian is incredible,"said the director.He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.


  However,after several successful predictions,the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.


  Finally the director sent for him."I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,"said the director,"and I'm depending on you.What will the weather be like?"


  The Indian shrugged his shoulders."Don't know,"he said."Radio is broken."


  天气预报


  一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.


  一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.


  "印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.


  几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.


  最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"


  印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."


  幽默英语短文


  2、A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.


  He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey.The worm in the water lived,while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.


  "All right,son,"asked the father,"What does that show you?"


  "Well,Dad,it shows that if you drink alcohol,you will not have worms."


  一位父亲打算让自己的儿子知道酒精有多么可怕。


  他把分别把两只虫子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做对比。清水里虫子安然无恙,结果威士忌里的虫子蜷缩了几下就挂掉了。


  "所以,儿子啊,"父亲问道,"得出什么结论?"


  "恩,这说明,你只要喝酒的话,肚里就不会长虫了!"


  3、A man sat at a bar,had the saddest hangdog expression.


  Bartender:"What's the matter?Are you having troubles with your wife?"


  The man:"We had a fight,and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."


  Bartender:"That should make you happy."


  The man:"No,the month is up today!"


  一个男人坐在酒吧里,伤心至极。


  酒吧招待:"你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?"


  男人:"我们吵了一架,她说一个月都不跟我说话。"


  酒吧招待:"那你应该高兴才是啊!"


  男人:"不,今天是这个月的最后一天。"


  4、The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and vice versa."Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined$$20 the first time.Anybody caught breaking this rule the 2nd time will be fined$$60.Being caught a 3rd time will incur a fine of$$180.Are there any questions?"At this moment,a male student in the crowd inquires,"Umm...How much for a season pass?"


  女生宿舍将全面禁止男生进入,男生宿舍也同样不得女生光临。


  "不论是谁,一旦违规,初犯将被罚款20美元。再犯要被罚款60美元。第3次被抓需要交180美元的罚款。还有什么疑问么?"


  这时人群中一个男同学问道,"那么一个季度通行证需要多少钱?"


  5、Teacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?


  Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.


  Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep?


  Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.


  把乌龟换成狼


  老师:有些同学开始骄傲了,大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。小明,你说说看,兔子为什么输给乌龟?


  小明:因为它睡觉了。


  老师:对极了!我们应该怎么做才能让兔子不睡觉呢?


  小明:把乌龟换成狼!


  以上就是小编为大家整理的英语幽默小短文幽默英语短文的内容了,希望对大家有所帮助,更多英语请关注慢速英语网(www.voanews.cn)