1、How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor,I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft.He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around.What's more,he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked,"How much English can you speak?"The defendant looked up and said,"Give me your wallet!"
2、A husband,proving to his wife that women talk more than men,showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day,whereas women use 30000 words a day.
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.He said,"What?"
3、Boy:Is this seat empty?
Girl:Yes,and this one will be if you sit down.
4、"Tom,what's the matter with your brother?"asked the mother in the kitchen."He's crying."
"Oh,nothing,Mum,"replied Tom."I'm eating my cake.He is crying because I won't give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?""Yes."said Tom."And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."